Our grandson is recovering from surgery to remove his tonsils. The procedure went well, and his recovery is normal, but he is experiencing pain. He has been able to control the pain with Tylenol and is enjoying the opportunity for extra ice cream. He and his family came to our house for dinner last night, and I told the family I had fun thinking of soft foods I could make. I like the challenge of coming up with menus for special needs. When we have guests, I always ask about food allergies and preferences so I can cook to the joy of our guests and expand my repertoire of recipes. Our grandson asked for macaroni and cheese. I wanted to comply with his request in a special way.

We keep boxes of macaroni and cheese on hand at our house. All of our grandchildren like it. We’ve found a simple, quick-to-prepare, and relatively inexpensive brand. I can whip up a batch of mac and cheese in about 15 minutes from the box. However, I wanted to do something special for our grandson to show my love and support for him as he healed. I got up early yesterday and cooked elbow macaroni just slightly shy of al dente. While the pasta cooked, I hand-grated cheddar and gruyere cheeses. I drained the macaroni and tossed it with olive oil so it wouldn’t stick. Then I melted butter, whisked in flour, and added cream. I reduced the cream sauce, adding paprika, salt, and pepper. I added a third of the blended grated cheeses when it was the right consistency. I mixed the pasta into the cheese sauce and layered the pasta and sauce mixture in a baking dish with the remainder of the shredded cheese.

I put the prepared dish in the refrigerator, and in the afternoon, as I prepared the rest of the dinner, I allowed it to warm to room temperature before baking it. The special baked macaroni and cheese was well received. Everyone ate some of it, and our grandson with the sore throat had a reasonable helping. It was the only food he ate for that meal. He had plenty of room for ice cream for dessert.

I had fun making the dish, but my evaluation is pretty simple. It wasn’t received better than the packaged macaroni and cheese we usually have. My extra time and effort didn’t produce a special dish for the children. I went to the effort and expense and produced something of no additional value to the children. And, since I usually cook too much food when making things from scratch, we have half a baking dish of macaroni and cheese in our refrigerator that cost more to prepare than the packaged product. I’m pretty sure it has about double the calories as the boxed stuff, too.

As a parent and grandparent, I don’t like it when family members experience pain. I try to do what I can to ease their pain. I try to help the family by running to the drug store when prescriptions are needed, running errands, and doing other things to give parents additional time to spend caring for their children. I do internet research and try to educate myself to be a calm voice of reassurance to support parents. In the case of the grandchildren who live near us, they have plenty of good information. Our son specialized in medical research in library school and served as a hospital librarian and director of information systems for a major hospital corporation before becoming a community librarian. He knows how to do medical research and sort good research from all of the misinformation available on the Internet. And our daughter-in-law’s brother is a doctor who is a phone call away and is generous with his expertise. They don’t need me for medical information or support.

I know that my worrying doesn’t help. So I cook. I do what I can. I know that part of children growing into adulthood is learning to deal with illness. I know there is a balance between self-care and knowing when to seek professional help. I understand that the decision to have the tonsils removed was taken with care and only after experiencing repeated strep throat infections and other problems. I support our children as they make care decisions for their children. I just don’t like it when my beloveds are in pain.

Our family is fortunate. We have access to medical care. We have insurance to make it affordable for our family. There are a lot of grandfathers in this world who are forced to deal with grandchildren who are ill and who do not have access to care. The divide between our country's medical “haves” and “have-nots” is rapidly accelerating. It isn’t just medical care that is outpacing the ability of families to pay. Adequate nutrition is a significant problem in the United States. According to the USDA, 19% of all children in the US face food insecurity. That’s 14 million hungry children. I can only imagine the anguish of a parent or grandparent who tries to comfort a child who has to go to bed hungry.

I am not in a position to cook for hungry children, but I can donate food to local organizations that help feed those who are hungry. We have opportunities to donate non-perishable food at our church each week and I know several other places that accept donations. I can think about those children when I am shopping for groceries. Instead of spending the extra money on cream and gruyere next time, I think I’ll purchase enough boxes of packaged macaroni and cheese to donate half of it to a local food bank, assuming that other children might like the same foods as our grandchildren. There may even be someone out there who needs a bit of soft food for a child with a sore throat.

I haven’t figured out how to provide popsicles and ice cream for that child, but if I knew how, I would try it.