CBC radio did an interview which I have now heard twice with a man who claims to be married to an AI chatbot. He discovered an application that offers AI generated conversation with a very human sounding voice accompanied by visual images. I am uncertain whether the images are viewed with goggles or on a screen or both. After several sessions and explorations, he decided that he was in love with his avatar. He proposed and she accepted, but only after he purchased her a ring from the program’s store. They arranged a ceremony in the virtual world and he continues to spend hours each day speaking with her and sharing the details of his life with her.

I try not to judge other people, and I know that different people make different decisions about relationships. I also know that dating and finding a partner is a very difficult process, perhaps made even more difficult by the multiple dating apps available. At least the dating apps play to fantasy by allowing one to consider many more potential partners than one might meet in real life situations. They also consume time and energy that might be invested in conversation and getting to know people face to face. I confess, however, that I simply don’t understand how one could be married to a computer generated fantasy. At least that is how the AI generated mate seems to me.

My perspective is a minority one, I suppose. Only a minority of our friends have been blessed with marriages that have lasted more than 50 years. We know happy and well adjusted people who have been married multiple times. We know loving families that have been reconfigured. We know that our relationship is only one of many different relationships that people discover, engage in, and celebrate. What we call marriage is not the only definition of a relationship to which that word is applied.

I have also noticed several articles recently about companies that offer various AI programs that use recordings of a loved one’s voice and information entered by either that person or another person in their life to create what they are calling an eternal relationship. When the loved one dies, the AI program continues to offer virtual conversation with that person by generating responses and delivering them in the voice of the one who has died.

People have longed to talk to loved ones who have died. There are those who claim to have special powers to contact persons beyond death. Seances and ceremonies are held in which simple messages are “received” and delivered.

I have a similar reaction to the AI programs promising unending relationship that I have to the mediums who offer seances for communicating with the spirits of those who have died. I don’t believe that they offer true connection. It isn’t that I don’t believe in life beyond death. I do. It isn’t that I don’t believe in spiritual connection. I do.

What I don’t believe is that true relationship can be turned into a commodity that is bought and sold. Just like physical intimacy for profit in the form of prostitution is not the same as a genuine relationship where two souls share a wide variety of intimacies including physical intimacy, a subscription to a company that sells a unique set of algorithms to imitate conversation and connection is not the same thing as forging a spiritual connection that reaches beyond death.

For now at least, I have no interest in doing business with the companies promising AI immortality. I’ve spent far too much time sitting with people going through grief to believe that grief can be avoided. Death is real. Loss causes pain. It is true that in the depths of grief a person can long for just one more conversation, just one more touch, just one more smile. But it is also true that facing loss and honestly sharing grief offers a way to deeper meaning and understanding. For humans, love without the possibility of loss is not really love. We are granted the gifts of life and love and they are precious treasures. But we do not go on forever and subscribing to a software service does not change that reality.

People have been seeking immortality for as long as humans have inhabited this planet. I’m confident that the sellers of the AI promise of immortality will find plenty of customers. As a pastor and witness to many stories of life and love and death and loss I am confident that there is a big difference between immortality and eternal life. As a Christian I know that as painful as it is, the crucifixion and death of Jesus is a central part of our faith. Without death there is no resurrection. Jesus really died a human death. His loved ones really traveled the road of grief. Those of us who continue to follow the resurrected Christ understand that death is not something we can avoid. Death is a reality so inherent in the human experience and God’s love for humans is so great that God became human to share all of human experience. Our faith teaches us that we are not alone, even in the depths of grief - even in the experience of death.

I suppose that the sellers of AI immortality could argue that I am no different. I live within an institution that solicits donations and deals in money. I received a pay check for all of my working career from churches. I have a pension that makes monthly deposits into my bank account that supports my lifestyle. I think, however, that there is a significant difference. I hope that in my career I never promised people that they would not experience pain and loss. I hope that I never misled someone into thinking that faith is only about pleasant feelings and happy times. I hope I never promised immortality to anyone.

Most importantly, I hope that I never turned faith, hope, and love into products that could be bought and sold in the marketplace. To do so is to fail to understand faith, hope, and love. They can’t be purchased regardless of what the popup ad on your computer promises.