The five year old was tired. He said he had no energy. He didn’t even have enough energy to get up from his chair and come to the dinner table. He slid off of the chair onto the floor and laid there for a few minutes. Revived by a tickle and the promise of a hamburger for supper he managed to stand up and make it to the table.

The same five year old, near the end of the day, after school and picture day and a doctor’s appointment and a trip to a big box home store with grandpa, came out of the hobby store with grandma. He had too much energy to simply walk. He had to skip and jump as he made his way to the car.

One night during our visit our daughter prepared a lovely pork loin and green beans with butter. As we sat down to eat the five year old declared that he wanted a hot dog. His mother said, “I think you’ll like this pork. It is really good. At least try a bite.” He agreed to do so. His mother put a very small bite of pork on his fork. He held it up to his mouth and took the smallest sliver of meat from the fork into his mouth. The look on his face was one of nearly complete revision. He chewed and chewed as if he meat was tough and kept the grimace on his face as he did so. Finally he made a big production of swallowing and declared that he did not like the pork. He shook with a little shiver as he repeated his request for a hot dog.

When the hot dog was delivered it was eaten with great relish.

Of course it is impossible to know the career choices of a five year old. It is possible that he will pursue multiple jobs over the course of his adult life. It is possible that his career will be something that we can’t even imagine from this point of view. But if he were to consider one of the many professions available these days, I think that acting might be his ticket. He’s really good at it.

He didn’t dislike the pork. He wanted a hot dog. He wasn’t really out of energy, he just needed the right incentive. And through it all, he is a terrific actor.

Miss Leanne, the kindergarten teacher must have a wonderful job. At least I think that it is a job that I might enjoy. A classroom full of first rate actors who are willing to wear their emotions on their sleeves. There is no attempt at covering up likes and dislikes, joys and sorrows. The entire class is learning how to get the things they want and need in life and they have become very adept at saying the right words and making the right facial expressions and showing the right body language to make their way in this world. Being a teacher of these children must be a new experience every day and more than a few wonderful and funny stories to tell as well.

I once read that being cute is a survival skill for an infant. Born into this world with no ability to provide or care for itself, needing help with everything from eating to keeping clean to controlling body temperature, an infant is totally dependent. But they are incredibly cute and fascinating to watch. We pay attention to them constantly in part because they need attention, but also because they are so fascinating.

What I have learned, however, is that it isn’t just infants who are fascinating. I was clearly charmed by our children when they were infants. I could spend hours just looking at them and studying their faces and behaviors. But I continued to be deeply interested in them as they grew up. I loved their preschool years as they learned that others have feelings and struggled to internalize morality.

I was engaged by our children in their elementary years. I volunteered in their classrooms in part to see how their teachers taught. But I also got incredible meaning and joy from observing their classmates. Each child is unique and different from each other one, but there are some traits that they share.

For all of my life I have been amazed by teens. They can be so capable and yet so senseless all at the same time. They are trying on different ways of being in the life. I once said to a colleague that I enjoyed middle school summer camp because every child changed so much in a week that their parents hardly recognized them when they came to pick them up. If there was a youth who was hard to like at the beginning of the week, just hold on because that person would change. If there was a behavior you didn’t like, hold on and it would change.

Every stage of being a parent has been a joy for me. I feel so grateful that I was given the gift of being a father. Seeing our children as adults with their own families is another phase of life that fills me with awe and joy.

That five year old has a mother who can keep up with him. She can see through the drama and appreciate it for what it is. She can listen intently to not just the words, but the feelings beneath the words and respond to both with grace and ease. She continues to be a wonder and a marvel for me to witness.

As we were riding in the car, we began to discuss plans for the weekend. We were checking weather forecasts and planning potential activities. Not wanting to set up the five year old for a potential disappointment, his mother was spelling some of the words as we talked about plans. When she said, if we go to the Z - o -o, the five year old piped up from the back seat. “I want to go to the zoo.”

I don’t know if it was his mother or Miss Leanne, but one or both of them have been teaching him about letters and words and some pre reader skills. And now he knows how to spell, which will make adult conversations even more challenging. The drama of real life is far more interesting than any show on television.