I am used to chore lists being a part of vacation travel. My father died when I was 27 years old and every visit to my mom until she moved into our home near the end of her life I would arrive and go over the list of things that I could do for my mother. Chores included minor household repairs, hanging pictures, cleaning hard to reach windows, and the like. They were never really big jobs, just little things that were hard for my mother to do. It was natural to me and so having a few chores to do when I travel seems like the way things should be.

When our children were younger, there were always a few “Dad Chores” when we visited them. Usually there were minor car maintenance items such as changing the oil or replacing a light bulb. It seemed like there was always something that aI could do that combined my vacation travel with a few tasks.

Things have shifted a bit with our son now that we live just down the road from their place. There are always things that need doing at the farm. I’ve built fence, repaired windows, milled baseboard, built steps and a small deck, and many other chores. In addition, I’ve added a few farm chores of my own by keeping bees at the place. I also have my shop work, building canoes and kayaks located in the barn at their farm, so there is no end to the tasks to be done when I’m around their place. I try to be helpful for them, asking what needs to be done or what is the highest priority.

I naturally expected that there might be a rather large chore list for this visit to our daughter. Her husband has been deployed for nearly five months overseas and so she has been responsible for their house and raising their son without his usual help. I have been surprised that the list is reasonably short, however. There are a few pictures to hang. Yesterday I replaced a couple of boards in the ramp to the garden shed. It is time to raise the monkey bars on our grandson’s play structure. He’s growing fast and he’s ready for different challenges. I also have gathered materials to replace the door trim on a couple of doors that were chewed by their dog. As chore lists go, my list for this visit is fairly short.

Of course there are always other things I can do. I can wash cars, clean out gutters, and wash windows. I know if I look around there is no shortage of tasks to be done.

A short chore list might be a sign of the passing of generations. I’m growing older and have less energy than once was the case. Even though I’m fairly technologically savvy, I am not used to how much our daughter and her husband are able to keep in constant communication even though he is working half a world away. They video chat a couple of times each day. He consults on home maintenance chores and is very good at talking her though what needs to be done, including telling her where the tools are kept and how to use them.

I know that I don’t have quite as much energy as once was the case. It is also the case that I don’t get bored as easily as I used to. I’m content to sit on the front porch and watch the neighbors go by or sit out back listening to the birds and petting the neighbor’s cat.

Yesterday afternoon we went to our grandson’s soccer practice. Our daughter was out on the field with the children and other parents, kicking the ball, running around, helping children learn the routines, and making sure they listened to the coach. I was content to sit in a lawn chair and watch the action from the sidelines.

Since I am not riding my own bicycle while on this trip, I’ve been riding the exercise bicycle at our daughter’s home. It has a chart printed on it describing the settings for various exercise goals. The chart gives settings for the bike and times to ride based on age and activity level. I realized, however, that I’m off of the chart. The exercise chart ends with age 65 and it has been six years since I was 65.

I guess I need to be honest about my age and ability and accept the fact that I’m not the one who is responsible for all of the chores any more. I can see that our children are very capable at taking care of their families, homes, and vehicles. I recognize that they are better at making certain kinds of decisions than I. When we went to the coast last weekend our daughter did all of the driving, something that I used to always do. She is a safe driver and I’m very comfortable riding with her.

Still, I hope that our children will continue to think up a few chores for me to do when we come to visit. They don’t need to be dramatic or big, just a few things that make me feel useful, and remind me that I can contribute to family life. I’m still pretty good at doing dishes, but I haven’t been asked to do many on this visit. I have done a few and I’m sure I’ll find a few more before we head for home, but is the case when we are not visiting, our daughter is a very capable person and she is responsible to get the necessary chores done.

I’ll pace myself and do just a few chores each day so that I don’t get them done too quickly. Our daughter doesn’t need to have the additional task of thinking up more things to keep me busy. I can be quite content with just being here and visiting her and our grandson. I’ll make sure to get all of the chores done, and I hope that she will have more for me to do when I have done so.

After all, chores are a part of vacation for me, though since I’ve retired, I’m not sure what constitutes a vacation.