I want to be perfectly clear. I do not know what happened in the home of Robert Roberson on the last day of January, 2002. It is important to also say up front that I am not a medical examiner and am not trained in medical care beyond advanced first aid training. Furthermore, Although I have received training from a coroner on investigative procedures, I am not a criminal investigator and do not understand all of the nuances involved in collecting evidence of a possible crime.There are a lot of things I do not fully understand. I have friends who have been diagnosed with autism and who have trouble reading the emotions of others and expressing their own emotions to others, but I am not an expert in the diagnosis or treatment of autism. When I was a student, I did a clinical rotation in which I was a member of a counseling team providing court-mandated counseling to a couple who had been charged with abuse of a tiny child who suffered broken bones as an infant, but I don’t fully understand the dynamics of that case and was shocked by the court decision to return the infant to the custody of the parents.

To make my lack of training and understanding more clear, it is important to note that I have not read medical or criminal reports related to the death of Roberson’s daughter, Nikki. The information I have about the case comes from reading a couple of online news articles.

Here is what I know: On the night that Nikki died, she was being treated for pneumonia. The drugs that she was prescribed are no longer given to children because they can cause serious complications. Roberson reported that his daughter fell out of bed. When he checked her later, she was not breathing. He took her to an emergency room where she was pronounced dead. Court documents show that medical staff suspected child abuse because of bruises on her head, brain swelling and bleeding behind her eyes.

That is enough information for me to know that there was a terrible and irreversible tragedy. Whatever happened a child dying from such severe injuries is terrible and all of us have the responsibility to do whatever we can to prevent such tragedies. All of the members of her family have experienced trauma that should have been prevented if it could have been prevented. But death is final. It cannot be undone. The baby died. Her death affected not only family members, but medical providers and the law enforcement officers who become involved.

The death is what is known as an unattended death. That means that she was not under the care of a doctor and no medical personnel witnessed the death. It also mandates a thorough and careful investigation into the time, means, and mode of death. In Nikki’s case an autopsy was ordered and the results were that she died of blunt-force head trauma. Her death was ruled a homicide.

The day after Nikki’s death, Robert Robinson was arrested. He was subsequently charged and convicted of capital murder. He was sentenced to be executed by the state of Texas. Among the evidence presented in the case was a lack of emotion displayed by Roberson when questioned by medial staff and law enforcement.

He has steadfastly and consistently maintained his innocence and continued to stick to his account of the events of the tragic night.

Roberson was scheduled to be executed at 6 pm yesterday. 90 minutes prior to the time set for his death, a judge issued a temporary restraining order to stop the execution so that Roberson can testify in a hearing in the state legislature next week. The decision came after a panel of the Texas House of Representatives issued a subpoena for him on Wednesday for him to appear at a hearing on Monday. They issued that subpoena in part in an attempt to delay the execution. The Texas House of Representatives is not dominated by opponents of the death penalty. However a bipartisan group of 86 Texas lawmakers along with dozens of medical and scientific experts and others including best-selling author John Grisham and several pro-death penalty Republicans has called for clemency. They argue that the conviction was based on outdated science, before authorities gained proper understanding of “shaken baby syndrome.”

Among Roberson’s supporter is Brian Wharton, the lead detective who investigated the incident. He told the Associated Press, “I will forever be haunted by the role I played in helping the state put this innocent man on death row.”

The US Supreme Court declined to intervene to cancel the execution outright. The judge’s order is temporary. The Texas Board of Pardon and Paroles has denied Roberson’s clemency petition with a 6-0 vote. It remains to be seen what the outcome of the case will be and whether or not Roberson will be executed.

The case stirs a lot of emotions for me. As a parent and grandparent who has been given the awesome responsibility of care for infants, I share the pain of Niki’s loved ones and grieve for the loss of the innocent child. As a pastor who has spend a lot of time in emergency rooms, my heart breaks for the medical professionals who had to examine and pronounce the death of an infant. As a former law enforcement chaplain, my heart goes out the to detective who is haunted by his role in the case. As a person trained to explain coroner procedures to shocked and grieved family members, I am passionate about preserving evidence and seeking truth.

I also know that killing Robert Robertson will not reverse Niki’s death. It will not bring “closure” to those who mourn. The death of a child is a loss that you never get over.

As a survivor who lost a sister to murder, I have been a consistent opponent of the death penalty. I see no evidence that state sanctioned killing provides any deterrence to crime. I see no evidence that it eases the pain of those who grieve. What I do see is that killing a person convicted of murder is irreversible and that in many cases states have executed innocent persons. Killing a person convicted of murder destroys evidence that might later be used to understand what happened.

The cost of lifelong incarceration is high, but not as high as the cost of an execution. I remain convinced that it is the obligation of the state to preserve evidence.

I don’t know what happened on the night that Nikki died. I do know that executing Robert Robertson will not bring us closer to the truth. While I watch for the outcome of this case, I will continue to pray with mixed emotions: grief, compassion, fear, and uncertainty.ny