I think I am going to change my response in conversations with those who ask me how retirement is going for me. I’ve been retired for four years now. Well, perhaps that isn’t totally accurate because for two of those four years I went back to work as an Interim Minister of Faith Formation. A more complete statement is that I was retired for a year then went back to work for two years and now have been retired again for a year. When I first retired, during the year that I did not have a job, I told people that I wasn’t sure how being retired was going. I cited the Covid-19 pandemic and other factors that made retirement a challenge for me. Then, when I went back to work, I told people that I had discovered that I wasn’t very good at retirement and that I was happy to be back at work. It was true. At least the part about being happy to be back at work. I thoroughly enjoyed the interim position. I would recommend taking an interim position for other newly retired persons. It was a good fit for me.

Now, however, I think it is time for me to stop speaking about my retirement in negative terms. I’m going to stop saying that I failed at retirement. What is true is that it was a big adjustment for me. I had to change the way I think about myself. A lot of my identity was caught up in the work that I did. I had a wonderful career and was fortunate to have a job that I loved for all of my adult life. I had a pretty good run at a career. I got 42 years in before the initial retirement and now speak of 44 years as an ordained minister. I was fortunate to serve congregations that were good to their pastor and supportive of my ministry.

I confess that I have done my share of complaining about active ministers now that I have retired. It is an interesting dynamic. Intellectually I know that I wasn’t somehow better than other ministers. I am aware that my ego was inflated and that I enjoyed being in charge. Now, however, I am learning to let others assume leadership. It has taken time. There was some real grief involved in making the transition from work for me. But time is one of the gifts of retirement. I have time to grieve the losses and time to move on. And it is time for others to assume leadership.

In the past few days I have watched our son and daughter in law artfully balance the demands of busy careers with family life. Our son has taken a few days off from work to make time to be with his sister and to participate in a round of family gatherings. It hasn’t been easy for him because there are demands at work that need to be met. Like me during my working career he has a job where the work needs to be done. In order to take time off, he has to accomplish the needed tasks before and after he takes a day off. He and his wife juggle schedules to make sure that their children have rides to summer activities, doctor appointments, play dates with friends, and the various gatherings with family that have accompanied our daughter’s visit. Yesterday they discovered that one parent needed to be at work for an important task and the other needed to take one of the children to an appointment. You can’t be in two places at the same time and there was no one to give a ride to their oldest child who is attending a special day camp this week. Fortunately, I can be the third adult in the family and give the ride. I have a flexible schedule and I don’t need to be elsewhere at that particular moment.

I have also watched as our niece takes phone calls from her job, manages scheduling and keeps on top of projects while taking her daughter and her mother to visit family. Others have developed other techniques for balancing work and family in order for us to have this particular gathering.

I, on the other hand, really don’t have to wrestle with a complex schedule. I’m free to discover each day which projects and activities work best for the family. It was hot yesterday. A piece of plastic sheet for a “slip and slide,” a lawn sprinkler, a small kiddie pool, and a beach umbrella rigged up with an old piece of pipe to provide shade over the picnic table was sufficient to entertain grandchildren and a great niece while parents and grandparents visited comfortably. I was free to make a quick trip to the grocery store for a couple of items needed for an easy to prepare supper for the gang. After supper I left the family gathering for an hour to participate in an online meeting. When I returned, all of the food had been put away and the dish washer was loaded. There was no stress and no pressure for me. I go to bed when I am tired and I get up when I feel like it. I don’t have a list of tasks that need to be accomplished by a deadline. If a last minute schedule adjustment is necessary, I’m free to respond. I can give my grandson a ride without having to reschedule anything.

There are definite advantages to retirement and I’m happy to enjoy them. It is just a big adjustment that took me time to make. I plan to start telling people when I am asked that I feel grateful to be retired and that I am enjoying my new lifestyle. After all, I’m pretty lucky to be able to retire. There are plenty of folks who don’t have that option. They need to work in order to have health care. They need to work to make rent and groceries.

How is retirement going for me? Pretty good. My life is full of meaning and joy. I’m happy to allow others to be in charge while I enjoy many newfound freedoms.